Feb
10
Military Cheetah – Wives Fight the Lies on Adultery
February 10, 2010 | 2 Comments
Cheetah by DigitalArt
Photo Credit: DigitalArt
As wives of sailors and soldiers, there is an unusual amount of stress concerning adultery. It is understandable. Hollywood makes it sound like every wife of a military man is sleeping her way through the neighborhood because that’s what ‘they do’.
In a society that places so much stress on one topic, one very specific topic, it is easy to see how that one specific topic would get so much attention when it happens. Out of millions of military relationships you really only see a small percentage ending in tragic jerry-springer-style ends.
With the hearts and compassion of the nation and possibly the world wrapped around the military, it is easy for the ‘civilian’ population to overlook the worry of every military spouse. “But what if he’s cheating on me?…”
Of course the cause for worry is very serious. Men deployed away from home and heart for a year or more are at just as much risk, if not more, of committing adultery. If not because of the simple desire to be near another human being than the stress and worry about their partner doing the same to them.
What do we suggest? What should a military wife do to discourage adultery of their deployed spouse out of pure worry that the other is committing adultery? Saying ‘Communication is Key’ is really a slap in the face, though the right direction.
Really and truely, actions speak louder than words. While it is unrealistic and even DANGEROUS to attempt to visit your sailor / soldier while he is deployed, there are other ways to show you care.
Take a look at the physical ways you can show you care. We’re not suggesting you send naughty pictures, though that is one way. Some ideas which show you put time, thought and effort into reminding your sailor / soldier of what is waiting at home is:
* Carepackages – which is one of the easiest and most appreciated. Not only does this show your military spouse that you care, but it distinguishes the little voices of fellow military ‘pals’ that put the seeds of doubt in the mind. Can ‘John Whoever’ really say that you are busy sleeping around if you are sending regular packages with all your husbands favorite treats and even random things for the fellow sailors / soldiers your husband works with? You will be the ‘Standard’ that other men seek in a military wife. It wont be ‘Your wife doesn’t seem to remember to send you anything’ and it becomes ‘Johns wife always sends him awesome care packages…I wish mine would’ More Info: Care Packages Say ‘I Love You’
* Video – When a military spouse gets the joy of SEEING your smiling face, even only for a few minutes to recap stuff you already talk about on the phone, you would be amazed at the morale boost. It becomes that little joy that he looks forward to throughout his deployment. This is especially important if you have children. Remind him whats waiting at home. Remind him that you are thinking about him and that he is first in your heart. More Info: United Through Reading: Not Just For Kids (About Free Video Program for the Military)
* Phone Conversations – This is obvious. But there is one key point to remember - Try to NEVER miss a phone appointment you have with your spouse. If it happens once, it happens, if it happens twice…you should think about finding a new time to schedule phone conversations, if it happens three times or more, you may want to sign you and your husband up for marriage counseling for when he gets back. Remember, it is not that your military spouse doesn’t realize you are busy, it’s that when asked he is telling his ‘buddies’ “No answer again, I don’t know why she keeps missing my calls…” and you know how the ‘buddies’ will explain the constant absence. Don’t let it get to that point. If the phone schedule isn’t working, adjust it; don’t keep missing them. More Info: Truth About Communication Options While Deployed
These are just a few ideas on how to combat adultery, the perception of adultery and keeping your military marriage going. Remember, you have many resources available as a military spouse. Thanks again for reading DearSailorBlog and be sure to check out The Ultimate Military Spouse Survival Guide – Navy Edition by Chloe Adams to cover more indepth issues and how-to-resources covering everything from healthcare to moving overseas.
Have you had issues with adultery? Do you suspect or have you discovered your military spouse has cheated on you? Tell us about your experience. How did you discover it? How did you cope? and How has it bettered your marriage. Remember when in love with a Sailor or soldier….all us wives are in the ’same boat’. Have a great day and be sure to read more on DearSailorBlog.com
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wow.. i’m very
enjoy reading your post. great.
Thanks for sharing this.